: Today we’ll be starting the main campaign for the first time. The Roman campaign has the largest amount of maps. We have 350 denarii at our disposal at the start – I think it’s best to have an Auxilia available from the start. Naturally, we carry the glorious name of the Legion of Procrastination.
: You’re such a meanie… the Romans captured us and did bad stuff to us!
: Did they? Let’s see what they did after they sent us to Rome.
Neighbourly quarrels. Since your capture, the Romans have treated you well. They have attempted to teach you their ways, to make a Roman of you. You have been attached to their army, to teach you to fight and command, and one day be a valuable servant of Rome. I must leave you now, I am not welcome in Rome.
: Well OK, so they didn’t… but they treated, um, Scottish person badly.
(Audio book-quality voice suddenly appears)
Greetings, friend. I’m Centurius Maximus, and I will be your guide. Rome was founded in the year 753 BC. Initially it was only a village, with little to distinguish it from other settlements in the area, and was ruled by a succession of Etruscan kings. Its problems were simple and its ambitions small. Rome needed to expand its influence and teach her neighbours to fear her.
: You’re going to beat up a couple of defenseless farmers? What is this game? You’re a big bully for playing this, Squirtle!
: The very first battle is naturally very easy. Peasants are so shitty, our Auxilia can’t even gain any experience from them. Therefore, I’m sending our Militia to gain as much XP as possible, and our Legate to hinder them from running away at first best opportunity. Our Auxilia waits behind. We don’t even have to beat all the squadrons, just kill enough.
: The battle goes just as planned. I send the Legate in first to draw damage from our Militia, and thanks to that and the ring of morale our Militia just barely makes the second Peasant squad rout just before the necessary kill count is reached – it was almost ready to rout itself.
: Naturally, it was so incredibly easy we did not get any loot out of this gig. The red spiral thing shows kills, the skull deaths, and the laurel XP gain. The spinning cross indicates the unit earned a promotion.
: What’s this fame thing?
: Oh, that? You get some every battle, the amount varies with the difficulty level. You lose some if you heal your squads between battles – the spinning hearts indicate if they’re hurt. It’s a high score of sorts, a nice feature if you’re into that sort of thing. Let’s go to the next battle.
: A few more worthy adversaries, but not by much. This ought to be a piece of cake.
: Why are we trapped on a peninsula?
: I don’t know.
: A simple but effective battle plan is arranged. Nobody should be able to screw this up.
: Was that really supposed to happen, Squirtle? I think it would be smarter if they fought together.
: …Let’s pretend that never happened.
: My superior strategical acumen has executed this battle flawlessly.
: We should be able to win this battle easily even without a timer, kill count or anything. The most strategical would be to hide in a corner and just wait. But that’s boring and missing out on some XP, so we just charge.
: The Etruscans stupidly lead their Militia nowhere while we beat up their Peasants. Maybe the Etruscans wouldn’t suck so much if they stopped using Peasants to fight.
: And they flee as our reinforcements come closer…
: After the battle, we’ve gained enough denarii to recruit the newest member of the Legion of Procrastination; a Scout squadron.
: The first remotely challenging battle. Those skirmishers can be tough going if you fail to beat them before the Militia starts moving. That rocky ground is bad new for cavalry and heavy infantry, as is the river. Our battle plan is to defeat the skirmishers and have the Scouts move to open ground. If the Legate dies, it’s lights out.
: The battle begins auspiciously. The Scouts manage to fight the Skirmishers on open ground rather than rocky.
: We move the Scouts away from the bad ground, rather than wait for the Militia to kick our asses.
: Isn’t the ring of morale supposed to be with friendly troops?
: Our Scouts chose to run away like spineless curs, as did our Militia.
: In the end though, they couldn’t hack our great military juggernaut.
As Rome defeated its neighbours, one after the other, they bowed to her will. To this point, Rome had been dominated by Etruscan kings, and was merely an extension of Etruria. But soon, Rome would be truly independent.
: We won an odd number of denarii, and quite a few promotions. Here’s the rundown of promotions so far:
: We’ll be talking a little more about promotion next time. Until then, bye!